Love this topic Keisha! Bring on the emotions everybody…
As someone in recovery from an eating disorder - I think this question relates a bit differently than living with the body limitations of a chronic illness or rare disease. In one sense, I miss how “simple” things were before I started treatment. Notice, I didn’t say healthy because I 100% wasn’t, but I had rules to follow and that was that. Watch what you eat, over exercise, purge, sleep repeat. Though I NEVER want to go back to that, recovery certainly can complicate things. For years, I’ve been working on working through the trauma and underlying issues that caused my disorder - it’s no longer just about food and weight, it’s some seriously heavy emotional stuff and I am forced to confront it every single day, heck, every single hour.
So sometimes, I look back and miss when things were “simple”, when I didn’t realize I was so sick. When food was my biggest concern. When I was a “regular” kid, not someone dealing with a life threatening condition and life long mental illness.
And of course, I certainly look back to a time before food and weight even became an issue. Unfortunately, I developed my eating disorder by 8th grade but even then, I can reflect on a time when things weren’t always so heavy!
Thanks for this time of reflection (and venting) Keisha- I can promise you, you aren’t alone in this feeling!